Reaching Our Apex

It was an unsuspecting Sunday morning, an uncanny structure in the middle of Central built to house the most expensive and the glamorous, was the first destination. A parade of suspicious crowd populated by people in tracksuits and tights with bulging pectorals and wide latisimus dorsi roamed the escalators and streets as if it was Hong Kong gay pride all over again.

But it wasn’t. It was too early in the morning.

The crowd was getting thicker and thicker as they descend the hills of SOHO, approaching Central. One group came from the east side of the escalators and the other from the west. Us, the main group, were rushing down the hills of Hong Kong Island so fast as if there was a bus that was about to leave us behind. Droplets of sweat started forming as my friend Manuel asks if this was the start of the hike. I on the other hand was getting pumped up, heart beat up, blood rushing through my veins as if I was about to warm up for a marathon. Earlier on, I was awaken by a phone call from him asking me if I was ready to leave the house.

It was 7am.

The night before we agreed to go on a hike to Lion’s rock, a sedimentary rock formation that can only be found in the boundary of main land China and Hong Kong, Kowloon. I thought it was exciting not only because I have done hiking with my sisters the last few times I was in the Philippines, but because there was a promise of an English barbeque at the end of the journey.

I phoned Craig and asked him to come, but only received fear for his virginity upon learning the majority of the crowd the next day. It wasn’t the majority, it was all gay.

So being the natural and the spontaneous me, I found myself purchasing the cutest hiking shoes from Nike.

It was purple.

The day of the hike found myself breaking out some sweat with about 5 other people following the scent of a strong aroma, so familiar that it can only come from a place with a green logo and a mermaid in the middle. As we approach the meeting place I noticed that the other group of people started merging into one location, Starbuck’s Alexandra House.

I was quite surprised that at a very ungodly hour of the morning, there were so many homosexuals from different walks of life, up and about, so eager to go on a hike!

“ This must be the new Saturday!” I told myself silently.

As we wait for other fairies to complete the crowd, Jackson started the bitching hour and gay as we are, we totally enjoyed it. Jan was in tights, Manuel would not stop telling me I am fat and I couldn’t help but think I am.

The hours went by and after many transfers in the MTR; we finally started climbing what is seemingly an inconspicuous hill that was mostly populated by monkeys.

They were not cute.

Ascension was the only way and upon reaching the top, there was nothing to see. The fog surrounded us, the gay crowd behind me gasping for air, swishing water all over their bodies and faces. Droplets of water escaping from their face and skin by the sheer force of their heads shaking from side to side like a TV commercial for a sports drink. And yes, there were the aesthetically and cellulite challenged gay men, feeling a great loss of unwanted weight while a sketchy Israeli was flirting with all the Asian boys in the hike.

Yet it was an experience as the mind was more in control of the body, pushing harder and harder as the steps become steeper and steeper. Exhaustion is the last thing you would ever think of when the mind has full command of the mother ship.

As we descend the mountain, everyone was getting impatient and eager to start the barbeque. We reached Paul’s fabulous place almost an hour later and started to rest. He was the best host ever.

Gluttony was the name of the game, a gay man’s secret shame.

Ending the whole event was just the beginning for it was a catalyst of change. Ian decided to quit smoking as he drags a puff from a joint. It was a jumpstart for Jackson and Manuel to do more cardio in the gym, an awakening for Jan that he no longer lives nearby the center of the city. I watch indifferently as all of them started planning their new resolutions.

And as for me, I have long changed my lifestyle and have done something about it before the onset of these events.

What for?

I just got bored going out. Alcohol doesn’t taste as good anymore and smoking sucks. Meeting new people wasn’t as fun as it used to be.

What happened?

Did I become a less interesting person or am I evolving into a new me?

Did we reach a point of our lives where we started to question the next path we would take?

Or were we just bitten by the reality bug?

I have absolutely no idea and I can’t explain it..

But all in all, I am content.

Fascination

Allegria - Cirque du Soleil

Alegria
Come un lampo di vita
Alegria
Come un pazzo gridare
Alegria
Del delittuoso grido
Bella ruggente pena,
Seren
Come la rabbia di amar
Alegria
Come un assalto di gioia

Alegria
I see a spark of life shining
Alegria
I hear a young minstrel sing
Alegria
Beautiful roaring scream
Of joy and sorrow,
So extreme
There is a love in me raging
Alegria
A joyous,
Magical feeling

Alegria
Come un lampo di vita
Alegria
Come un pazzo gridare
Alegria
Del delittuoso grido
Bella ruggente pena,
Seren
Come la rabbia di amar
Alegria
Come un assalto di gioia

Del delittuoso grido
Bella ruggente pena,
Seren
Come la rabbia di amar
Alegria
Come un assalto di gioia

Alegria
Como la luz de la vida
Alegria
Como un payaso que grita

Alegria
Del estupendo grito
De la tristeza loca
Serena
Como la rabia de amar
Alegria
Como un asalto de felicidad

Del estupendo grito
De la tristeza loca
Serena
Como la rabia de amar
Alegria
Como un asalto de felicidad

There is a love in me raging
Alegria
A joyous,
Magical feeling

Waving the Big Storm

In the current situation the world is in, all of us have to simply endure the storm and put our heads down to make sure we still have some sort of professional future in the coming year. Some of us have to just accept that rejection and termination is just another opportunity waiting in the horizon.

For the few like me, some sort of house keeping is season, making sure that everything is in place, for when the heaviest storm comes, we all need to be ready and have a shelter to protect us from harm.

That's it.

It is useless to think about this day in and day out. Nothing good will come out of it anyway. So i decide to live my life the way it should be, chill, easy and free. How else can i live in this city if not like this?

Yes I have started going to the waters again.

Yes I have started to eat healthier and more cost effectively.

Yes I have cut down on going out and saved some money in the bank.

I have done all that. The ultimate question is for what?

I have just got off the phone with my Mum and told her how I felt about all this. I told her that I'll just go home when shit happens to me, i even told my sister about it. Until it happens to me, I shall continue to live our lives a day at a time, on our own. To think we are living away from our family like this is just a cycle where we have to prove to oursleves that we do can live our lives independently.

But like any other Asian families, our bond is stronger than blood. We yearn for all of us to be together, like the old days.

Then again, we are in 4 different countries, 5 people living parallel lives from each other and yet it intersects and meets at a point when we want to, when we need to. We need family, however much we deny it.

Though the heaviest storm comes, there is always family that can shelter you.

Hmmm :-)

Constant Change - Jose Mari Chan

8 Degrees Centigrade

The weather was cold in China. Coming from Guangzhou this afternoon, I felt a bit of satisfaction.

You see, not often do you get to be in a presentation where grapes and tomatoes are served to your delight and cameras flashing while presentation.

They were an array of Chinese soldiers paying attention to the presentation that we call design intelligence. I was dressed. I was dressed well, too well I think. I found my presentation not in the best format i hoped it would be. I had to improvise and I did. It worked. At least that one did.

Not like last weekend in Stanley beach.

The water was cold. I nearly drowned. Well, that being not entirely correct, I actually nearly drowned twice. "Gay man drowned in Stanley", now that would have been a headline - at least in Volume it will. I didnt have flashbacks, nor did i experience fear. The first thing that came to my mind were my pairs of shoes.

But it was not my time, for I found myself in Macau hours later enjoying Zaia, Cirque du Soleil's latest offering, fulfilling a promise, given to someone worthy of my true love and devotion.

Did i say i was immensely busy with work too?

I hated the jugglers in that show. They dropped things when they're not supposed to. They failed to amuse and impress the audience and their mistakes were so obvious, they had to do more things to try and make up for their mistakes.

I really hated the jugglers in that show. Maybe because they reminded me of myself and my work.

Above all the show was great and left me wanting to buy a soundtrack. Then we came back from Macau, a hundred and twenty dollars richer.

Not bad.

This afternoon was a good presentation and a horrible train ride back to Hong Kong. The white man sitting beside me was snoring as if there was a T-Rex egg hatching, emerging to face the world. Thanks to Betty, I decided to cry on an episode when Daniel Mead brought his mom to a date. Rather hear prehistoric sounds beside me, I chose to create a diversion.

But still, as I have said - I was cold in China.

Speak To Me

Amie (Full Song) - Damien Rice

I was alone in this world, fulfilling my purpose
I never want to be any more than I am
for reasons i can not even understand
I may have hurt people along the way
Surely that I didn't mean to do
For I am just a soul, crying in the darkness of the city

Then you found me.

Your eyes pierced me, through me like a knife
Touching the soul that was once lost and now found
To see through your eyes what wonders i can find
The wonder of something beating - pounding the sound of my name

I stood in the cold, for you to speak to me
Telling me how everything was good and true
Letting me know why your heart skips and your blood rushes
Without a whisper, without the words

No need.

And yet of all the trials we would have to face
Only to hurt the people around us and waste
The pillars of friendship, of truth and love
Once was built by two people - in hope - in love

So tell me, where do i go?
In this troubled present, what chance do i have
Of wanting to be where i deserve to be
Only then a future to see
There may never be you, there may never be me

I saw a falling star that night
Right above your home
I wished for something bold and true
I felt the winds brush upon me from a rushing car
I smelled the smoke that came from your cigarette
You walked towards me, grabbing my hand
For me to touch your face, I will never forget

So tell me, where do i go?
Would you come with me if i asked you to?
would you leave everything and run away
and disappear in the darkness this city displays

Speak to me and tell me
When tomorrow comes, would you still hold my hand
Sit with me and tell me
That the next time i open my eyes
There will be you, there will be me.

A drizzling night

As if the cloudiness of the day was not enough, yet again I have
skipped breakfast.

It was drizzling last night, the golden arches a refuge in my head.
The phone was ringing heavily, pounding in my ears.

"Are you there yet?" says a voice, incognito but yet familiar.

At the same time, two bodies were getting lost in Sheung wan, the golden
arches their destination.

Threading the stairs, I was activating my only vessel to hear the
voice of reason, of intelligence and of pure love.

In my head, Oscar Wilde is gay. Dorian Gray is definitely his lover.

There was another character in this charade. A confused boy whose
responsibilities are greater than his age wishing for love
to find him.

The swift movement of the trees and dark corners of the park guided
me through as I descend the narrow roads.

It was nearly midnight, two lost souls, a love waiting and a responsible
boy all converging into one person.

And all I wanted was a burger.

It was a drizzling night.

Sent from my iPhone

Valentine of the Vanities

Hong Kong. The weekend debauchery is over.

What's left are remnants of what have been, what could have been and what will be.

Everyone had hopes, shared deeply among everyone.

We were a delightful mix of beautiful colors, every day and every hour was like an orchestrated symphony of colors and outfits, befitting the queen who was moonlighting as a city photographer gathering materials for his new blog,

http://blogs.stylebible.ph/rajosblog/

Rajo - a friend for life, a lover to a friend, a mother to us all.

The explorers in us were struggling to get out, mapping the next country to conquer, counting the days when the rainbow ships will sail once more. Tokyo, New York and London- prime targets for the hopefuls and obviously financially enabled--it just suddenly occurred to me that Bob is really going to buy a watch worth a thousand Filipino mouthfuls--Manila, Bangkok and Shanghai were the next...

Azure- a memorable night, who ever thought this place could be the perfect setting for a Night of Debauchery 2- me and Angela did, the weekend before, bless my darling girl.

It was sinful to end the night as the fairies from all over gathered and strutted along the streets of Wyndham, a street name i could never remember, had it not been for Rajo and Nix getting lost.

I organized dinner the night before, Chinese it was and was so lovely, seconded by a spontaneous Valentine's junk trip-it never happened. Spasso was the replacement, the bar in which Bob, Roj and myself looked homeless, groping our worldly possessions, Prada, Ray Ban, Club Monaco and Giordano Concepts with our lean tanned arms, sans Bob's..

If not for anything, I tried to put some intellect to this highly fashionable afternoon- brushing up on my Spanish.

"Estoy calliente, papito!"

And just like that, I woke up to messages of gratitude and farewell... except for one.

Famous Quotes of Oscar Wilde

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Genius is born--not paid.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

To where I will be

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there i do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glimpse of snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumns rain

Do not stand on my grave and cry

I am not there i did not die

And when my heart speaks

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all

Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits

Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you.

No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection?

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell.

Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Gloomy day

It's not the same today.

I step out hoping I would shower myself with sunshine.

I'm wearing something comfortable. Beige and denim, my two favorite
colors. It's like a dependable boyfriend.

The storm has passed, off to a new tomorrow. I'm living my life as it
should be lived, healthy and free.

My messenger was filled with promising messages. " I've always been
here.."

I'm blushing. ;-D

Sent from my iPhone

From a long break

i am back. My clothes are like a mountain of dirty laundry...

Representation of what I have been doing over the last 2 months, part of if that i would rather keep to myself.
Nothing serious, pure good time. Since when did i ever do that?

LIfe's too short.

Hate facebook now, cant keep anything to yourself. Where is my privacy?

Saw on the vid an old acquaintance, now a transvestite, " Be all that you can be.."--pathetic. My ex should have killed him back then to spare him the humiliation for himself and his family. Its as if being gay wasn't enough

French lust is in the air- to do or not to do. so difficult being physically single in a big city.
Thank God there is always diversion--Angela, Rajo and Bob. That will keep my two weeks full.

Craig was sweet- did my legs with him..now im crippling, "help?" He gave me an apple.

Donna Summer around me, I feel love.
I guess its time to go to work.

Im still sleepy.

The Rainbow Flight

I find myself in a CX flight to Hongkong listening to Lykke Li,
remembering my Josue. Hmmm...

In the lounge earlier, between my beef noodle and steamed dimsum- loving the
noodle bar and thinking it is the best idea in any lounge so far- I
found myself staring at the world map, examining how small the island of Dominican
Republic is, Josue's origin. He was born in New York
though.

As I start changing my attention to other things, I noticed that it
was time to board the plane.

On the way to the plane, I got a message from Josue prompting me to call him. As we
exchange our final sweet words, I could not help but start feeling a
bit lonely. I got so used to waking up to him coming
home from school.

I started to miss him officially.

From my seat I started noticing the number of gay boys in the
plane. Guess they all came from G5. Welcome to the rainbow flight en
route to Bangkok, Thailand!

Despite the excitement I feel in seeing my friends a few hours later, I can't help
but ponder on the last few days that have gone by.

I feel I had changed for the better.

But then I ask myself, given the opportunity to do it all again, would I?

All I can say for now is I am glad I did it.

Sent from my iPhone

Not!

Now that I think about it, I am pretty excited to see my friends.

Although, as the day ends, the more i find it difficult to accept that I will be leaving Ban Qiao temporarily.

Not a good feeling.

Im beginning to loose a part of myself, giving space to a new me, down to earth, simple, happy and excited, and a bit Dominican Black on the side.

And who said about going black and never coming back?

I did better.

Not bad.

Paul in Bangkok

Paul is now in Bangkok. He has been there since Christmas eve and only God knows what he has been up to.

I received a message from him today saying that has gotten himself an apartment with a huge party place.

I am arriving tomorrow evening after which i am planning to meet up with him or dinner.

Angela, my dear best friend, instructed her driver to pick me up in the airport and bring me to her apartment, while the maid awaits for my arrival.

hmm..


What a life, i am back where i belong..

G5

Now on to G5. Typing this entry in a cab going to Chris' place.

Chris - a guy I met with Josue during the first time I visited.

With us in the cab is Brendan, Josue's housemate which earlier on I
helped to pick up a shirt for tonight.

Brendan- young Canadian studying engineering in Taipei with a friend
visiting from Toronto, Jimmy.

Jimmy- who now is dating brendan's russian friend who's got a funny
accent everytime she yells "brrrreenndhhhannn"

G5- famous gay party in Taipei full of shit and Taiwanese
guys.

We went in, hands clasped. Josue leading the way. While a sea of half
naked Taiwanese men rocks from side to side, we initially stayed in
the secomd floor until we found ourselves Kitty high and in the VIP area
of the Dj booth.

Josue's ex was playing, Dj David S. I met him him long before Josue
came to Taiwan, in the back of a jeep in Phuket, Thailand during the
nation 5 party. He was then just starting.

The music was amazing andso was emily and kitty. Everything was going
slow then fast then slow, my vision was 2d, 3d, 3d, 4d... And so on..

It was a good night.

I was exhausted.

Sent from my iPhone

The Characters We Play

The personalities in Taipei are quite interesting. We met several
people that night. Jose, a Spanish guy passing through taipei.

He grabs me from the table in funky. Me being swept away as the
vallium kicks in with the second bottle of Absolute.

Found myself lip locking with Jose a few times hence the my friends
started baptizing me with a new name.

I met Josue that night, and everytime I would pass by him, he would
grab and press my hand.

We were four boys that night, four different characters, one mindset.

Enjoy Taipei.

Bob-Miranda
Eddy-Carrie
Roj-Charlotte
And me, Samantha.

Great, now I'm a fucking slut.

Sent from my iPhone

December 21

So now I'm in Taipei. Got it as a free ticket from being a marco polo
member.

Sweet.

I have been planning to go back anyways since the first time Bob,
Eddy, Roj and myself went there two weeks back. Before we even left, I have finished planning my return.

I wonder why.

So we decided to go on a move and start the party in rooms.

Yakult and vodka - not bad, thanks Bob.

As the night deepens we went to a club called Funky, as this place
can't get any smellier, I spent 4k NT, a whole pill of valium and a
bunch of fabulous friends around me.

The night was just starting.

I am high. ;-)

Sent from my iPhone